The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
