Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
