the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
