New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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