thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
