this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
