I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
