It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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