Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
