Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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