dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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