i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i think i just lost a toe
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
