If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
