Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My feet surprised me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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