there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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