Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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