Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
im about as happy as oj after his trial
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
