The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
