And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
