I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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