did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
