Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
