Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
why do cheetos always look like penises
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
