She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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