we should wear snuggies to the strip club
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
