We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
