God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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