Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
