the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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