who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just threw up on my dentist
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
