My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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