tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
