OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
