There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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