Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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