why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
