Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
