my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Randomize
