The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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