i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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