i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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