I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize