are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
