New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
