We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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