I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
