This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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