Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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