if i can run in heels then i can drive
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
