Pappa wants mamma naked
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
