apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
do herpes really smell.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I have post one night stand depression
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
