I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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