The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
