You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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