it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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