Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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