He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
