About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
