It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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