my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
